For the past six months or so, I have been “SUPER Rapid Cycling”, as my psychiatrist put it. Although I’m pretty sure the clinical term is just “Rapid Cycling”.
Basically, I start off with a week or so of little to no sleep. I’m not going to lie, for the most part I enjoy this time. I have tons of creative energy and I’ve been getting a lot of painting done… it feels great.
But eventually I hit a brick wall. I go from one extreme to another. I sleep a LOT. This is different than being depressed and not being able to get out of bed. This is “I can’t hold my eyes open” and “I’m afraid to drive a car” tired. During this part of the cycle, depression usually sinks it’s nasty teeth into me. On the bright side, this part of the cycle only lasts a few days to a week.
There might be a few normal days after this, but usually we just go right back around and do the whole thing over again. I’m currently working on getting the right meds to get things a little more “regulated”, but until then, I’m learning to deal.
Tonight I was hit with a bout of depression and it was suggested to me, that since I am creative, I try to draw/paint how depression felt to me. Since my art kept coming out looking like a Dementor from Harry Potter, I decided to try my hand at poetry and this is where I landed. Don’t judge me too harshly… I am not a poet, nor am I an English major.